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Facebook lets me feel worse.

Illustration for article titled Facebook lets me feel worse.

I understand having the option to publish status updates about feeling irritated, horrible, lazy and maybe old, but WORSE? LOL? Worse from how I felt from my last feelings status update? So maybe I could start off and write "feeling horrible" and then two seconds later write "feeling worse"—this is the only way I see using this status function working properly. However, this makes me seem like I'm a little emo attention-whore. So then, what if I didn't have a status that preceded "feeling worse"? What if I just started off and went all gung-ho with "FEELING WORSE". BAM! How would you deal with it?

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You have three options:

  • YOU "LIKE" THAT I'M FEELING WORSE! Could you click like? Sure, but why? WHY would you do that? Was it a mistake? Please tell me it was a mistake and that you didn't LIKE my status about feeling worse, on purpose. Tell me that you're just SADISTIC and glad that I feel worse (now everyone knows you're somehow involved with my woresness and are probably judging you). But do NOT click LIKE to make me feel better from "feeling WORSE." I don't know why you'd think this would be a good idea. Are you liking it because you think clicking it would indicate that you saw it and somehow you could magically transform a like into a digital hug? There is no OTHER meaning: if you LIKE a status update—you LIKE the contents therein. #FIN. It's messed up to LIKE my worseness!—it makes me feel worser than worse—even if liking my misery wasn't what you meant. Plus, there's no feelings update available right now to allow me to express that I feel worser than worse (but I have faith).
  • YOU COMMENT ON MY WORSE-NESS. You could comment but what the hell would you say? "OMG I'm so sorry I hope you feel better!" Um. What? You don't even know what I feel worse from, so how can you think you can pretend to know what's going on with me and just assume I'm sick or sad or something? *delete/block fake friend*. You could try and comment asking me straight-up what's wrong... HA! Like I'd really get into my worseness in a series of comments in public with you. Then you'd ask "WHY the update in the first place?!" It's available! It's my status update and I can FEEL WORSE FROM NOTHING IF I WANT TO! Then you say wtf, and call me a nutcase and maybe block me from facebook. I can tell this is going to do super things for my state of worseness.
  • YOU IGNORE MY FEELING STATUS ABOUT FEELING WORSE. So you don't like it, you don't comment, you just shrug, yawn, or scroll through the rest of your miserable newsfeed and LEAVE me in my emotional state of distress? What the fuck is this status update for? I get no love? I just continue to live in my state of feeling worse? Is this what you want all 568 of you who claim to be my friends? What's the point of telling you I feel worse if I get NO response whatsoever? This will just make me feel EVEN worse, and like I said there's no fucking status update for that (yet)!
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Honestly, I don't know why this status exists, or who thought "feeling worse" would be a good idea for a status update. But from now on, I'm using it to generate as many of the above reactions as I possibly can.

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